Finding Community When It Seems Impossible
Do you feel isolated—whether living alone, with a partner, or even with kids? Sure, you have friends, but the full weight of survival rests on your shoulders. If you don’t keep pushing forward every single day, everything could fall apart, and no one will come to the rescue—because they’re all busy saving themselves. Everyone is their own separate little island with all their own separate stuff and separate responsibilities.
It wasn’t always this way. Humans are social creatures, and in the past, we lived in villages, tribes, and close-knit communities where everyone had a shared stake in each other's well-being. When times got tough, we relied on one another for support. That sense of belonging was essential to our survival, and I believe its absence today fuels an underlying anxiety that impacts our lives in countless ways.
Why don’t we create the community we crave? Many things hold us back: time, money, work commitments, being tied to one place, and simply not knowing where to start. But beyond these logistical barriers, we carry beliefs and unconscious assumptions that act as blinders. We look at the options available to us and throw up our hands—they’re all too expensive, too time-consuming, or require something we don’t have. But what if the real issue isn’t that good options don’t exist, but that we can’t see them?
I recently had a breakthrough in this. I’ve longed for a sense of community, too. But after moving across the country, I had plenty of reasons why it wasn’t possible. As a practitioner of Peak States Therapy, though, I have a unique advantage—I can apply my own tools to myself, like a contractor repairing their own house. While working through my blocks, I uncovered a deep-seated fear: if my life improved, I’d eventually encounter something I couldn’t handle, leaving me overwhelmed. This fear was rooted in multiple layers of generational trauma, reinforcing the belief that staying small and isolated was safer.
Shortly after resolving this, I felt drawn to seek out a Reiki practitioner—something I’d been interested in for years but never pursued. To my surprise, I found an incredibly skilled practitioner with an office just one block from my home. Not only did she share my passion for community, but she also embraced collaboration and service exchanges. Even better, she was part of a healing arts community right in my neighborhood that I hadn’t even known existed! In just a week or two, I went from feeling like I had no community to realizing one had been right in front of me all along—I just hadn’t been able to see it. The natural next steps are to hold gatherings with them and my neighbors to strengthen our connection.
This experience illustrates something profound: our deep-seated emotional wounds (and those of our ancestors) cause us to create invisible mental guardrails, designed to protect us from getting hurt. But in doing so, they also keep us trapped. When we heal the trauma that created these constraints, our perspective expands—immediately. What once felt impossible suddenly becomes clear and accessible. We’re not just “thinking outside the box”; we’re removing the box entirely.
If you feel stuck—whether in isolation or any other area of life—I’d love to support you. Through my work, I help people dissolve the unconscious barriers that keep them from seeing great options and taking meaningful action. If you’re ready to create the community (or life) you truly want, send me a message. Let’s explore what’s possible together.
