Emotional Well-Being is No Longer Optional
Relative search volume for "childhood trauma", Google Trends
Until very recently in human history, our standards for emotional well-being were very low. For the majority of people, the bar was simply surviving with some basic food and shelter. Suffering and toil were so normal that major religions were able to convince people that working themselves to the bone and practicing self-denial were virtuous. As recently as my parents’ generation, attending to one’s feelings beyond what was necessary to function was considered a huge indulgence. Even when I was growing up in the 1990s and early 2000s, having a therapist was eyebrow-raising and something people kept to themselves.
But in the last 10 years, there has been a major shift.
The graph above shows Google’s relative search volume for the phrase “childhood trauma”. As you may recall from your own life, it was very low in the 2000s. It started to grow in the 2010s, with the inflection point around 2016. From there, it grew rapidly until 2020, where it has stayed at a maximum ever since.
My mother died from cancer in 2007 as I graduated from university, but I had no idea what trauma was back then. I just knew that I felt directionless and like life had no point, and that I needed some kind of help. My dad had felt the same way when he was my age, although much more intensely and for different reasons. His saving grace was the Est Training of 1970s fame, which he credits with saving his life and providing him with an empowering context for self-understanding. At his suggestion, I partook in the modern-day incarnation of Est, which is called Landmark. Often called the gateway drug of personal development, Landmark opened the door to self-understanding, integrity, and a desire to get to the heart of things rather than complain about them, which led to other coaching programs, an interest in psychology, and later to working with many therapists of different modalities.
Despite my deep interests in matters of the self, I didn’t take trauma seriously or have any desire to broach the subject until late 2019, when my job stress became so intense that it activated deep-seated issues in the rest of my life. In desperation, I started to learn about trauma, consuming staples such as The Body Keeps the Score and It Didn’t Start With You, and engaging in trauma therapy with EMDR, NARM, and Somatic Experiencing practitioners. Eventually, through a stroke of luck, I encountered Peak States Therapy and immediately knew I’d finally found something strong enough to deal with my particularly tenacious patterning. I trained in it and immersed myself in intensive healing for five straight years. In the process, I began to awaken to a reality that, while very uncomfortable, explained a lot about why the world is the way it is.
What I’ve found through my explorations is that childhood trauma is massively widespread. But it’s not just horrible events you see in the news, it’s the very common hurts and wounds that make large swaths of adults have lower self-esteem than they should, compromise their values in order to make money, and set their sights lower until their ambitions become merely wishful thinking. Most of our complaints, patterns, relationship problems, and bad behaviors are based in trauma, including fundamental feelings of separation from, and competition with, the rest of humanity.
Shortly after I met my wife in 2010, one of her friends said, “If I could wave a magic wand and have one wish, it would be for every living person to have a therapist.” At the time, I thought this was ridiculous, but now I agree with him. And fortunately, so do increasing numbers of people. The world is waking up to trauma. Celebrities are endorsing therapy services and talking openly about their struggles with mental health. We have the resources and the technology to allow more and more people the luxury of attending to their emotional well-being – and not a moment too soon.
Because humanity is so competitive and feelings of separation are so strong, cohesive action to address the problems that threaten our survival on this planet is difficult to organize. Because our fears of scarcity override our morals and ethics, we allow capitalism in its current unbridled, exploitative form to harm the planet and each other, much like cancer cells reproducing with no connection to the larger organism. But as the healing of trauma becomes more widespread, our collective ability to choose a positive and sustainable future for ourselves will improve, as will our collective sense of cohesion and purpose.
One of my major goals is to create what I’m tentatively calling The Foundation for the Elimination of Scarcity and Separation. This foundation will use cutting-edge healing techniques to develop a program for the large-scale healing and resolution of those fundamental traumas that drive so much of the suffering and destruction in our world. Through creating an impact at all levels, from political and economic leadership down to the individual, the Foundation will help resolve the disconnection between us, so that we can work together for the benefit of everyone and the planet. The greatest minds of our generation will no longer be tricking people into clicking ads, they will be solving hunger, homelessness, and climate change.
These are still early days. I’m still working on understanding how the pieces fit together. But I can help people heal a wide variety of trauma, and make life easier and a lot more enjoyable. If there are emotions involved, it can usually be resolved. Hey, that rhymes. If you’d like explore working together, either to build the Foundation or heal your trauma, I’d be delighted to hear from you.
We are at the beginning of a profound transformation in how we view and address our emotional and psychological well-being. As more people awaken to the impact of trauma on our lives and our world, we have an unprecedented opportunity to shift the trajectory of humanity. By prioritizing healing in order to create a sense of connection and shared purpose, we can tackle the root causes of the issues that threaten our survival and well-being. Together, we can create a world where healing is accessible, and collaboration, compassion, and abundance are the new normal.
