Manifesting is Hard When You’re Working Against Yourself

Manifesting is one of those buzzwords that has both nonsense and truth associated with it. There are endless offers of advice, coaching, and guidance, sometimes for astronomical sums, to help people manifest their desires. Some people seem easily successful at it, while others remain frustrated, repeating affirmations and writing down desires endlessly with no effect. Opinions are divided over whether it’s a real, dependable phenomenon or merely wishful thinking and placebo. My experience with manifesting is mostly on a short-term basis. I have had experiences of both succeeding and failing at it. I don’t presume to be an expert, but I think about it often and have observed some things that may be useful.

I’ve noticed that when I try to manifest something, such as a new job or a place to live, I am more likely to get the outcome I want when I feel positive and confident. In particular, when I engage in a way where I am willing to accept all the feelings that arise, especially the bad ones, I tend to get what I’m after. This may be obvious. The problem is that I, and others, often feel unhappy or desperate when we have the biggest need to manifest something, and feeling that way makes it hard to engage and accept all the feelings that arise. The solution touted by many is to change your thoughts to be positive by force of will, or by certain practices such as gratitude. And in fact, this actually works for many people. But have you ever wondered why this works? What does positive thinking or gratitude do that makes manifesting more likely?

It compensates for the effects of trauma.

Trauma does not simply make you feel bad when something reminds you of it. Trauma is insidious because it invisibly alters your view of reality, especially your ability to perceive what’s possible. Whether you believe that your vibration determines your ability to manifest, or simply that you get what you expect, the effect of trauma is the same: it messes everything up. It makes you expect to be rejected, or for things to go badly. It makes goals seem less achievable. When considering your options, it limits them. The more trauma you have, the more limited your options appear.

So when you practice gratitude, positive thinking, or raising your vibration, you are compensating for the effect of trauma. The positive feelings from these practices acts like a soothing balm against the influence to be negative. It’s great and works well for many people, especially if you can use it to reach goals that take your life to the next level. The caveat is that you have to keep doing it. The moment you stop, your negative beliefs, fears, and expectations start to creep back in. It might be slow, but you will eventually return to the state you were in before you engaged in the practices.

Also, if you have lots of trauma or you’re particularly triggered, practicing gratitude may do nothing. You may not be able to change your thoughts to be positive at all. This can create the additional burden of feeling powerless or judging yourself for being unable do something that seems easy for others. If you’ve ever had this experience, please realize it’s not your fault. It’s just the hand you were dealt. It’s easier for other people because they have less trauma, not because there’s something fundamentally wrong with you.

The solution I prefer is to heal the trauma that gets in the way of manifesting. I have had many experiences of seeing only one bad option and feeling desperate, followed by clearly seeing the way forward after doing some healing work. The only reason I’m here writing this and offering my services is because I’ve healed enough trauma to believe it’s possible.

Manifesting can be a powerful tool, but its effectiveness is often tied to our underlying emotional state and past experiences. While positive thinking and gratitude can temporarily offset the effects of trauma, true and lasting change comes from healing the root cause. If you find yourself struggling to manifest your desires despite your best efforts, it’s not a sign of failure or inadequacy—it’s an indication that deeper healing may be needed. By addressing the trauma that clouds your perception and limits your options, you can unlock your true potential and create the life you desire with greater ease and confidence. I’d love to help you on your journey.